Author Archives: Phoebe

If We Controlled Your Remote… 6/22/18

Posted on June 22, 2018 by and

Have you ever been at a loss as to what to watch? Too many shows to pick from? We’re here to give you our opinions on what we feel is worth watching. Check it out and then let us know in the comments below what you’re choosing for tonight!

Phoebe’s Choice

Well, it’s time for another full season installment of the MCU’s Netflix original series, as Luke Cage season two went live last night. With 3 out of 5 of the last MCU Netflix seasons being flops in my book, including season one of this show, I am not expecting a whole lot out of this one. But I’ll watch, and if it’s as bad as Jessica Jones season two was, it’ll only take me 3 months to grind through the pain of watching it.

Chronologically, Luke’s story left off at the end of The Defenders, one of the fun recent seasons which saw Daredevil sacrifice himself to destroy the dragon bones under NYC that the Hand was going to use to enslave millions. Somehow Matt survived that explosion, but Jessica and Luke don’t know that as they catch a drink and agree to keep in touch.

Over in his own first season, the last episode opened with a ridiculous 15-minute boxing match with Cage’s brother, Diamondback. Diamondback is almost a legit super-villain with his powered-up battle suit that allows him to go toe-to-toe with the superhuman Cage. But my suspension of disbelief was dialed to Spinal Tap 11 as Cage at any moment could have simply torn the powerpack off the back of the suit and ended the fight. After seemingly all of Harlem watches the bout, Misty Knight brought Luke to the station for questioning, and a series of lofty soliloquies ensued.

Misty pinned the murder of slain crime lord Cottonmouth on Mariah but found out her key witness had been murdered, so it wouldn’t stick. And poor Luke got sent to jail for old crimes he’d been running from for years. But don’t feel too bad for him. He got out in episode one of The Defenders. Some critics are already calling season two not as good as season one, and I thought S1 of Luke Cage was just an over-glorified hip hop video that happened to have a cool comic book character in it. So like I said, my expectations are low for this one. Oh well, I’m still gonna watch!

Check out all of season two now on Netflix.

I’m also going to be watching 12 Monkeys.
 
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If We Controlled Your Remote… 6/15/18

Posted on June 15, 2018 by

Have you ever been at a loss as to what to watch? Too many shows to pick from? We’re here to give you our opinions on what we feel is worth watching. Check it out and then let us know in the comments below what you’re choosing for tonight!

Phoebe’s Choice

Syfy debuts season 4 of 12 Monkeys tonight, and you better hold on to your era-appropriate hats because it’ll all be over in three weeks. Talking time is always confusing with this show that revolves around time travel and a war to constantly nudge history by two opposing sides: the Army of the Twelve Monkeys and the inventor of the time travel machine: Dr. Katarina Jones. But this year they will be dropping 3 episodes at a time, over three weekends, as they continue to experiment with tight summer schedules. This show has been brilliant from the jump and is easily the best reboot this side of Karate Kid Cobra Kai.

Last year’s finale opened with two young children ghost hunting in a haunted mausoleum, where they found Jennifer Goines. Jennifer was waiting for a dying man. Far in the past in 1881, Cole and Cassie finally caught up to the timespace that their son Athan was in before he chose to go back to the future and assume his destiny as the foretold Witness. All three were wearing those neato time travel jackets, and a cat and mouse chase across time ended with all three of them stranded in “the house” in 1959 – the paradoxical point outside of timespace where he was conceived, which should no longer exist because of changes to the fabric of reality.

In the 2140s, Jones had 12 Monkeys lieutenant Olivia imbibe the magic tea leaves from the red forest to enter a vision state to figure where in time they were. She was determined to stop the Witness. He told her his location, knowing the Army would come for him if they knew where he was. As Olivia came out of the vision, the Witness revealed itself to her, unmasking and showing their true identity. Aided by her daughter and the remnants of the Daughters an old form of Jennifer once led, Jones surrounded Cole, Cassie, & Athan, threatening them at gun point. She wryly pointed out in one of the best lines of the season, “What happens next, happens last.”

During that standoff, a lightning storm erupted, announcing the arrival of time-traveling city from the year 3000 and home base to the Army of the 12 Monkeys: Titan. Inside the house, we got a Mexican standoff: two moms, one dad, a son, and a daughter all pointing guns at each other. Athan got shot in the chest, but the time travel jacket got him out before he had time to die. In the temple of the Monkeys, Olivia killed the Pallid man, thusly ascending to the highest rank in their hierarchy. We were then shown how “recently” she had escaped holding in Jones’s compound and killed Deacon in the process. She was told by Jones, “The Witness is dead,” as she’d just shot Athan. After a moment of shitty diatribe, Olivia stabbed (killed?) Jones.

Jennifer finally got the dying man she was waiting for when Athan arrived in her mausoleum. She nursed him back to health, and he returned to rescue Cole & Cassie, only to be slashed by Olivia. After, he revealed she was always meant to be the one behind the mask, the true Witness. After that, all of the “good guys” time ported out. We ended the season with Cole as a child in 2015. A slip of paper with the iconic image of an ouroboros drawn on it, (a snake in a circle eating its own tail). Cole’s father mentioned Cole’s mother.

I can’t wait to see where this season goes, and we won’t have to wait long to see. I know they are daring to go even further in the past than last season’s use of Victorian England. And Jennifer is going to make some huge changes and impacts based on an interview I read recently. Just gotta get me one of them nifty time travel jackets, and I’ll be set.

On tonight’s first episode, “The End,” the final conflict with the Army of the 12 Monkeys begins when the Witness returns to Project Splinter. Then on the second episode, “Ouroboros,” Travelers come face to face with ghosts from their past when they find themselves maneuvering around their own timelines. Finally, on the third episode, “45 RPM,” Cassie travels back in time to confront a younger Olivia while Cole helps Jennifer find the meaning behind her final Primary vision.

Don’t miss the first three episodes of the final season tonight on Syfy starting at 8/7c.

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If We Controlled Your Remote… 6/14/18

Posted on June 14, 2018 by

Have you ever been at a loss as to what to watch? Too many shows to pick from? We’re here to give you our opinions on what we feel is worth watching. Check it out and then let us know in the comments below what you’re choosing for tonight!

Phoebe’s Choice

Last week, Freeform gave us the first two episodes of Marvel’s Cloak & Dagger, and I was definitely impressed enough to start a bandwagon for everyone to hop aboard. So get yer traincore on and watch this show! This is another comic book show in the MCU, and the major departure so far has been that they gain their powers by being in the same bay at the same time that a Flash-styled “particle reactor” exploded, making them “metas.” Episode two started with a car accident scene on a wooded forest road somewhere. It was a totally a non-sequitur that will only happen in the last minute of the episode.

The chronological start of the episode was Detective O’Reilly and other cops checking the scene of where Tandy/Dagger stabbed a guy to death last episode. Tandy told her bf/PIC, William, about the stabbing, and they plotted to get her out of town. O’Reilly soon was talking to the other two men who assaulted Tandy before she stabbed the one guy through the chest with one of her “hardlight” daggers.

Later that day, Cloak/Tyrone dozed off, and in his nap accidentally teleported miles away, causing him to be late for basketball practice. So late that the coach made the rest of the team run “suicide sprints” the whole practice till he showed up. To make up for thousands of dollars her mom spent on drugs, stolen from her stash, Tandy & William targeted a wedding to steal from them. Oh yeah. In this show? Dagger is totally a thief. That’s her M.O. They were ripping off the wedding to afford her fake credentials, as she planned to flee New Orleans (where the show is inexplicably set). Meanwhile, O’Reilly was already touring the neighborhood with a sketch artist drawing of what is clearly Tandy.

Tyrone’s teammates beat him up in the locker room for making them run suicides. Afterwards, as penance, he did the sprints on his own. At the same time, Tandy’s hands glowed with power at the wedding, and she had to hide it under the table. Next she had a vision of William proposing to her – that ended in her freaking out and running to the bathroom. But there she met “resting basic face” maiden that had all the cash. She stole it, but they had to steal the “Just Married” car to get away. Tyrone had a strange vision that led him to try to shoot the scarred cop who killed his brother years ago.

Once she had her new ID, Tandy took the car and set out on her own, not wanting to deal with William’s love. Just as Tyrone was about to shoot the corrupt cop, the shadows he was in swallowed him and teleported him to the remote road that Tandy was driving on, and she veered off the road and crashed. Point, looping Counterpoint.

On tonight’s episode, “Stained Glass,” Tandy is on the run as Detective O’Reilly closes in on her, but the detective may not be after her for the reasons Tandy thinks. Tyrone is desperate for answers and turns to Evita and her Auntie Clarisse, a Voodoo priestess, for help.

Find out why O’Reilly is after Tandy tonight on Freeform at 8/7c.

I’ll also be wondering wtf Freeform is.

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If We Controlled Your Remote… 6/13/18

Posted on June 13, 2018 by

Have you ever been at a loss as to what to watch? Too many shows to pick from? We’re here to give you our opinions on what we feel is worth watching. Check it out and then let us know in the comments below what you’re choosing for tonight!

Phoebe’s Choice

This year’s version of Archer, Archer: Danger Island, has been an exciting whirlwind that is now sadly almost done. Tonight is the finale, and we have still not seen a hint of what might be going on in the “irl” world that the characters started in. Archer has been in a coma, and we’re in the second ring of Hell in his subconsciousness presumably. Last week’s penultimate episode started with Fuchs, née Cyril Figgis, leader of a Nazi troop seeking the magic idol the natives presumably have, discovering one of their men had been taken by the cannibals. They decided to call in a platoon of Stormtroopers as reinforcements.

Pam and Archer overheard that planning, so they retreated to the village and started to get them ready to fight the Nazis. After a bit of the training, Mallory showed up with Ray, Manu, Cheryl, & Crackers the Parrot. The natives thought that Cheryl was their Goddess “Kalua.” The Nazi Stormtroopers arrived with a powder that was a mix of painkillers/meth & cocaine. They all got zonked out of their f’n minds. Meanwhile, so did Pam, who was licking a frog while she trained with the cannibals. The drugs secreted from the frog enabled her to craft a crossbow from scratch.

Mallory drank a “Phlegm Sangria” as bullets zipped by when the Nazis actually attacked. She was rubbing it in Archer’s face the she was going to go find the Idol while he was distracted fighting Nazis, when her drink was shot by one on the hundreds of bullets zinging past her. She then took the gun from Archer and annihilated the German mortar battalion in about 4 seconds. After that, Archer’s crazy tactical “Battle of Endor” styled tactical approach turned out to work perfectly. Until Fuchs showed up in a Mecha suit equipped with automatic guns. Just then the old villager lady with no teeth dropped the last trap – a Return of the Jedi styled log with spikes on it that smashed Mecha-Fuchs deep into the left field of the jungle island a half mile away.

As things closed out, we saw that Fuchs was still alive and that Cheryl had finally made peace with the fact that oysters were testicles on the menu of cannibals & she dug in.

I read an interview with Adam Reed recently, and it sounds like Season 10 next year might not be the end of Archer. There is yet hope. No matter how long the show may endure, this season has been an instant classic that I think a lot of people are missing.

On tonight’s episode, “A Discovery,” Archer and the gang enter a deadly temple in search of an even deadlier treasure.
See how the season ends tonight on FXX at 10/9c.

I’ll also be watching that righteous c*nt whom I adore on Full Frontal with Samantha Bee and the ever impressive Syfy adaptation The Expanse.

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If We Controlled Your Remote… 6/7/18

Posted on June 7, 2018 by and

Have you ever been at a loss as to what to watch? Too many shows to pick from? We’re here to give you our opinions on what we feel is worth watching. Check it out and then let us know in the comments below what you’re choosing for tonight!

Phoebe’s Choice

The Marvel Cinematic Universe has come a long way in the decade since the first Iron Man movie marked the inaugural moment in the time line, and in that time it’s spread from silver-screen to TV to newer platforms like Netflix. Tonight, the complex tapestry of that defines the furthest boundaries of the MCU take us to New Orleans for a new rendition of the classic Marvel troubled teen couple: Cloak & Dagger.

What’s that you say? The original book took place in New York, like you know, nearly every Marvel title in the 80s/90s except West Coast Avengers & Alpha Flight. They say that this was an intentional move to set it apart from so much of what is going on elsewhere in the continuity, but I think it was just cheaper to film there. (Similar economic circumstances led to last year’s Inhumans inexplicably being set in Hawaii.) But what does stay true to the original Cloak & Dagger story? Well, we’re not sure yet. All I’m given to understand is that they are still teen runaways but that their powers are interdependent and affected by their blossoming romance.

Way back when in the comics, they got their powers when a mad scientist experimented on them with synthetic heroin that was being developed for some of Spiderman’s enemies. They spent the greater portion of their time fighting drug dealers rather than any superpowered bad guys. So like Luke Cage maybe? TBH, the MCU has been severely lacking in convincing Big Bads since Jessica Jones season one, so not sure yet if this is a good look or a bad one. But just based on their powers alone, I think it will be fun to watch: he has a giant cloak that helps him contain the Negative Zone, a dimension we already are familiar with from Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.; she can project hard light projectiles which are shaped as daggers. Very punny, eh?

The show stars Olivia Holt (Disney XD’s Kickin’ It) and Aubrey Joseph as main characters Tandy & Tyrone. It also stars Andrea Roth (13 Reasons Why, Rescue Me), Gloria Reuben (Mr. Robot, ER, Raising the Bar, Saints & Sinners), J.D. Evermore (Rectify, True Detective, Treme), & James Saito (Eli Stone), as well as Carl Lundstedt & Miles Mussenden.

There are two episodes tonight, airing on Freeform (an interesting choice of networks, really…). It’s worth checking out to see how they are handling the latest addition to the Marvel small-screen family.

On tonight’s first episode, “First Light,” two teenagers from very different backgrounds find themselves burdened and awakened to newly acquired superpowers which are mysteriously linked to one another. The only constant in their lives is danger and each other.

Then on the second episode, “Suicide Sprints,” Tandy and Tyrone try to grasp what has happened to them with their newfound powers, while Tandy’s past catches up with her and Tyrone becomes consumed with revenge; Detective Brigid O’Reilly works an interesting case that has ties to Tandy.

Don’t miss the two-episode premiere tonight on Freeform starting at 8/7c.

Other than this premiere, I’ll also be watching The Daily Show with Trevor Noah.
 
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