Category Archives: If We Controlled Your Remote

What do we think you should be watching each night? Find out!

If We Controlled Your Remote… 7/24/19

Posted on July 24, 2019 by

Have you ever been at a loss as to what to watch? Too many shows to pick from? We’re here to give you our opinions on what we feel is worth watching. Check it out and then let us know in the comments below what you’re choosing for tonight!

Phoebe’s Choice

While I still don’t have a complete handle on what/why Pop is, I do know that the hilarious new show Florida Girls airs on it. Having just spent a month living in Clearwater and being no stranger to Florida trailer park madness, this show hits close to home. It follows four 20-something roommates who share a trailer and a workplace in Clearwater, FL. They are slightly on the trashy side, but the most responsible of the quartet, Shelby, is determined to get the money together for her GED to get the heck out of the town eventually. They’ve been airing 2 episodes every Wednesday, so the ten-episode season one will be done quickly.

Last week’s second episode started with the girls dressed in super fashionable black outfits, scraping together the $2.79 for a small soda and a lottery ticket. They won $800 with the scratch-off lotto ticket. They were in the fash black outfits cause they were going to the funeral of local party guru, Josh Travis. Shelby tried to encourage the other girls to invest in GED classes too. Jayla noticed a guy that was in an expensive watch, and it turned out to be Erica’s brother, Matty, all cleaned up and sober. Jesus saved him. Shelby roped the other girls into going on a kayaking trip with Matty. She hoped that maybe religion would inspire them to invest their lotto winnings smarter. Jayla pretended to be Christian to get Matty interested in her. Erica found a blunt roach in the sand and thought Jesus wants her to invest her money in becoming a pot dealer.

Kaitlin accidentally let all the kayaks float away, stranding them on the island. Matty snapped and lost his shit, telling Jesus to eff off and then chasing the pastor who convinced him of his new faith around the beach. When Kaitlin realized they had been on Josh Travis’s party island the whole time, she declared that Jesus wanted her to invest her money in an island party. The girls pointed out to Shelby maybe she just was too scared to get her GED without them, and she confessed they were right. The episode ended with Shelby deciding to swim for the mainland as her friends cheered her on. About ten yards out, she paused to turn and give them the finger. Why is this so relatable?

On tonight’s first episode, “What’s Your Favorite Boat,” the girls get a taste of the privileged life when they visit Breezy Lopez, a rich girl from high school; a glimpse of Breezy’s idyllic family makes Shelby realize the cracks in her relationship with her mother.

Then on the second episode, “Stop Pretending to Read,” when Shelby buys a book that makes her realize the girls have been objectified by men, she tries to tackle the issue at her bikini bartending job.

Don’t miss the Florida fun tonight on Pop at 10/9c & 10:30/9:30c.

I guess Wednesdays are my strongest TV night right now, ’cause I’ll also be watching the penultimate Archer: 1999 episode plus Full Frontal with Samantha Bee & Krypton.

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If We Controlled Your Remote… 7/23/19

Posted on July 23, 2019 by

Have you ever been at a loss as to what to watch? Too many shows to pick from? We’re here to give you our opinions on what we feel is worth watching. Check it out and then let us know in the comments below what you’re choosing for tonight!

Phoebe’s Choice

I have been looking for summer content, so I decided to give the Pandora premiere last week a try. It’s sci-fi & on The CW, who does a great job on the Arrowverse, so why not? Well. It’s not the best sci-fi I’ve ever experienced, but I am not throwing tomatoes at the screen just yet.

The bizarre pilot opened with Jax, our main character, going for a jog on her planet, when her parents were obliterated by an attack. Fast forward to her being admitted into some academy back on Earth that a relative got her into. That escalated strangely. Okay, next we met and befriended alien Ralen & former sex slave & clone Atria Nine, cause a girl needs supporting cast. Where would Buffy be without Willow after all? They formed a study group, (what is this, Community??), and then Jax needed to check out the remains of her old home.

Once on her homeworld, at the site of her parents’ slaughter, she and the gang were attacked by some weird alien species but were able to duck into a vortex that put them in a safe pocket dimension during the laser bombardment. I was trying to figure out where they found the cool cave that most of these scenes were shot in, and I read that the entire show was produced in Bulgaria. Okay, that tracks. We also learned that Professor Osbourne from the academy was an undercover detective who suspected wrongdoing from the human upper tier. And that’s it. Left on a weird cliffhanger in a Bulgarian cave.

Visually, it is a well-done TV show. The writing so far seems kind of slopped together. I’ll watch it for now, until it either jumps shark or my better Tuesday night shows come back. Check it out if you are content starved. Otherwise you’re not missing the next Expanse or anything.

On tonight’s episode, “Chimes of Freedom,” when Atria Nine learns that Adari leader, Seeker Creston Hubbell, will be speaking on campus, she enlists the help of Jax and the study group to stand up against her former masters to help free her clone sisters and brothers from oppression on her homeworld.

Check out this new sci-fi drama tonight on The CW at 8/7c.

I’m also watching Young Justice.

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If We Controlled Your Remote… 7/21/19

Posted on July 21, 2019 by

Have you ever been at a loss as to what to watch? Too many shows to pick from? We’re here to give you our opinions on what we feel is worth watching. Check it out and then let us know in the comments below what you’re choosing for tonight!

Phoebe’s Choice

When Burn Notice first went off the air, there were rumors that Sam Axe & Jesse might get a spin-off series, and I prayed to FSM for it to happen. No, instead Bruce Campbell went on to do three hilarious, gory seasons of Ash vs. Evil Dead, and all was good. Maybe he’s slowing down on account of hitting his 60s, but Campbell’s latest TV gig is as the host/narrator on the latest revival of Ripley’s Believe It or Not. On this show, he won’t need a stuntman because the stunts will be done by the superstar freaks that he highlights each week! Each episode covers a few different amazing stories, and so far they have been pretty wild.

Last week started off following a Lego engineer named Aurelien Rouffiange. He had been with the toy company for years and had been a part of many large-scale projects involving the tiny building blocks. As a PR stunt, Lego tasked Rouffiange and a team to construct a sports car replica out of only Legos. I feel they sort of cheated because they custom made a bunch of pieces to get it done, but by the time they were done, they did have a full-sized drivable replica of a Bugatti Chiron.

Next we got to meet Mimi Choi, a makeup megastar whose nightmare visions have driven her to Instagram fame. For years Choi suffered from jarring nightmares of people with eyes all over their faces and people whose faces would start to split into ten faces like a refracted mirror splintering from the center. To deal with the dreams, she decided to start painting what she was seeing on her own face with makeup. Once she began putting pictures of her work on Instagram, she exploded to social media stardom and hasn’t looked back since. What was once a source of terror for her is now the source of her greatest success.

The third and final person highlighted last week was Angel Giuffria, an actual cyborg human. Angel was the first human baby to be fitted with a myoelectric arm. The device, which is shaped like a regular arm and articulated with wrist and fingers, responds to impulses from the end of the stumped-off arm she was born with in the 1980s. Now a full-grown woman, she has several more modern myoelectric arms that look more sleek and have light-up abilities she can use practically or to be festive. I was completely blown away by how well she does with it.

On tonight’s episode, “The Curious Case of…” Joseph Herscher builds comical chain-reaction machines in the style of Rube Goldberg; Christian Stoinev grows up in the circus and becomes an acrobat.

Don’t miss the fun tonight on Travel Channel at 9/8c.

I’ll also be watching Perpetual Grace and Ancient Aliens.

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If We Controlled Your Remote… 7/17/19

Posted on July 17, 2019 by

Have you ever been at a loss as to what to watch? Too many shows to pick from? We’re here to give you our opinions on what we feel is worth watching. Check it out and then let us know in the comments below what you’re choosing for tonight!

Phoebe’s Choice

Last week’s installment of Archer: 1999 began with a classic Archer scene. Lana needed help landing the spaceship as they entered an alien environment to respond to a distress signal, but Archer was busy looking for the maraschino cherries he needed for his Whiskey Sour. Archer then spilled his half-made drink on the console, making the ship barrel down into an actual crash. As they rumbled to a stop, a jar rolled to his feet, and he stated calmly, “Never mind. Found the cherries.” CUT TO CREDITS

When we got back from commercial break, they discovered the fuel cell was shot, and their comms were down so they couldn’t call Mallory for backup. Everyone was worried, but Archer placed faith in his blind luck. This faith was supported by the fact he stumbled off a short cliff right into the ship they were searching for. Inside the wreckage, they find doubles of themselves, sans Krieger, with a bald Archer. Based on these doppelgängers Krieger concluded they were from a different dimension. They happened to find a fuel cell, rammed in the bald dead Archer’s rectum, but also were being chased by a giant Tyrannosaurus Rex, because of course. In the jungle, they met the double of Krieger, who agreed that it was probably a multi-verse crossover of some sort, but he also informed them that the T-Rex could camouflage into the environment like a chameleon. After a “he’s standing right behind me, isn’t he?” moment, the second Krieger was summarily eaten. Things only got resolved when Archer got back to the ship and battled the beast with the weapons and engine thrusters of the ship. Once back in space, Mallory informed them that the other crew were actually clones. Twice the productivity! Also she was happy she could write off the deaths of the other crew and their ship, making the adventure profitable to her bottom line.

This was another solid episode in the 1999 sci-fi run that this season is. It wasn’t the best, and a lot of the jokes required call-back knowledge from the first nine seasons, but it’s not like they are seeking new viewers now. This show is at a cult status, and if we get an eleventh season, it will not be made to attract new viewers. An interesting development in that question of “do we get a next season” has arisen. Since this one began, a ninth episode was added to the order, called “Robert DeNiro.” As the plot listed seems to indicate more Archer: 1999, it may not be the final episode of the series. We expect that the last episode would have to revolve around the end of Archer’s coma. They may wait till the close of this season to tell us, but I am once more hopeful this show will live on!

On tonight’s episode, “Space Pirates,” a voyage home gets interrupted by an alien battle cruiser carrying precious cargo.

Find out more about the “precious” cargo tonight on FXX at 10/9c.

I’ll also be watching Krypton & Florida Girls, ’cause holy crap this show is funny.

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If We Controlled Your Remote… 7/16/19

Posted on July 16, 2019 by and

Have you ever been at a loss as to what to watch? Too many shows to pick from? We’re here to give you our opinions on what we feel is worth watching. Check it out and then let us know in the comments below what you’re choosing for tonight!

Jenny’s Choice

I’m not sure I’ll actually watch Facebook Watch’s newest show, but it looks intriguing and has a fun voice cast. Human Discoveries is an animated series featuring a group of friends living at the dawn of human civilization. They’re the first to discover necessities like fire and the wheel. But much more importantly, they’ll stumble onto humanity’s best, and worst, innovations. Art. Alcohol. Fashion. Racism. Small talk. And, much to their confusion, monogamy. Voicing the characters are Anna Kendrick, Lisa Kudrow, Zac Efron, Lamorne Morris, Jillian Bell, & Paul Scheer.

I can’t find any episode title or description, but check it out tonight on Facebook Watch at 9/8c.

I’ll also be watching/DVRing Bring the Funny, Chopped Junior, Chopped, & Sweet Home Sextuplets.
 
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